The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.

Childhood Where Does It Go?

by Dessa Rodeffer,
Publisher/Editor

21 July 1999

Letting our kids be kids has been an issue of late. Sometimes I feel parents try to rob their children of their childhood.

I agree that kids need an environment of love, encouragement, and responsibility, seasoned with discipline and an explanation of why their choice had gotten them into this predicament, but I really think that sometimes our younger children are robbed of the fun of just being kids.

Summer ball is one example.

When I was a kid, many went out for summer baseball to have some fun. Not too many of us expected to see our parents at our afternoon games, because our dads and some of our moms worked.

We played ball for fun just like we did swimming, horseback riding or any other fun activity. Of course, we played to win, but everyone got to play (pro material or not, and most were not) and we did not have anyone yelling at us to win at all costs.

I read an article in one of Dr. James Dobson's writings about kids not getting a chance to be kids these days. Girls are pushed into make-up and sexy fades of the day earlier and earlier until some girls are sitting targets for aggressive older boys. No matter how much older they look, their young minds are not ready for the kind of guys they are attracting.  Parents are going to be sad when they look back and see how they have robbed the youth of their children and maybe even their innocence all too soon.

It seems to me that some parents are afraid to firmly say "no" and stick to it, while others are so involved in controlling their kids life that children have no time to see all that is within themselves that they might want to pursue.

A coach and mother from La Harpe pointed out to me the other day that parents are more vocal than she had ever seen them before. We both agreed that belittling and negative comments were not helpful in building a child's character and feelings about themselves. She said one of the most positive parents she was amazed at was a father who lived between La Harpe and Stronghurst and had children in the Stronghurst school. He went to all the track meets, constantly gives encouraging words to each player telling them they are doing a good job. If someone else beats them he tells them they will get it next time and they had given it a good effort. He gives them ideas on improving their skills, and he is in it for the kids all the way.

I think we as parents need to step back and ask ourselves - why do we have kids. Is it to make us look good or to help us out with all our work, or do we have them to love and nurture and support them into what God has called them to be. It's time to reevaluate why you are doing what you are doing with your kids.

If God wants our child to be a pro baseball player, then he places the talent within the child and all they need to do is play and it will develop from the sheer love of the game.

If God doesn't want our child to excel in sports, all the pushing, yelling, and special courses will not make it happen. It will only bring unhappiness to everyone.

I'm reminded of the girl who had the love for dancing. Since she could remember, she had an inward desire for the arts, but her father wanted her to be a star ball player. Wanting to please her father, she hung up her dancing shoes and tried her best at being what her father wanted her to be. She was unhappy, and no longer danced, and many were unhappy with her for her errors on the ball field.

Summer sports are for fun. There have been few if any pros in our midst. If your child is of pro quality, they will grow and excel with simple encouragement and praise.

God bless the children. Let's not rob them of their childhood, but encourage them as they try to succeed.