What I've Learned From A Graduate

by Dessa Rodeffer
Quill Editor/Publisher

26 May 1999

Quill Editor, Dessa Rodeffer with
her nephew, James Bell August 1996

August My nephew came to live at our home three years ago with a lot of strong opinions, some good, some not so good, but they all made sense in his world and in his way of thinking.

For one thing, he liked his long unkept hair and he liked his unique eccentric clothes - holes and all, the neck attire of chains, string, safety pins, and he liked the bracelets around his wrist of string, beads, etc.

Many found his different and unkept look to be offensive. But for James, he said it was not what's on the outside, but what's on the inside that counts. Good people should take time to get to know the person inside, not the look one wears, for one could easily fool a lot of people by just wearing a good suit of clothes.

By the time graduation had arrived Sunday, a gradual change had occurred: short trimmed hair, khaki pants, an occasional white shirt and tie, dress shoes, and a guy who out-showered, out-laundered, and out cleaned the whole family. Why the change, I can't say, but we had a few discussions about respect for our fellow men.

For instance, people who are renting tuxedos and limos and have taken great pains to pick out their formal attire for a wedding expect others to join in their celebration by coming in formal attire that will enhance their special day.

And when it comes to others, a lot of times all society has to go on is what they see on the outside. Like it or not, society's first impression of how you keep yourself is an indication of what is going on inside and how you might keep things you are in charge of.

But James said people should get to know the person. They should ask why I wear some of these things. James continues at times to wear a sentimental shoe string around his wrist that belonged to his grandfather, Francis Rankin of Biggsville. And he will also wear the WWJD wrist band (what would Jesus do) as well as a cross necklace that tells of his faith.

School work was a matter of settling down, building confidence, and concentration which was many times hard to do at first. But somehow between 9th grade and 12th grade Ds and Fs slowly turned into honor student grades along with tough subjects such as Physics and Writing Lab.

By the time my nephew was an upper classman, he had turned the word "forgetful" into "dependable" and led the family in diligence in every way. For instance, his one job of keeping the kitchen cleaned up, has been done daily, without hesitation. In fact, he has stopped others and said, "that is my job," as if he is proud to have the responsibility. It has taught us, in our family, that our various tasks of helping out the family are a privilege and to be thankful we can be a part in them.

The Christian life which James had undoubtedly been introduced to as a child, had been set aside for awhile, but he had begun to question it, study it, and learn of what all this faith in God meant.

Is it a thing people religiously dress up and do with no meaning? Or is there truth there?

James found there is truth in the word of God. That God is faithful to finish the work that he has started in a person if only we trust in Him and let Him into our hearts and lives.

So James never sweats the small stuff or the large stuff either. Early every morning he puts it in the Lord's hands in his morning reading of the Bible. He works hard to diminish himself and lift up the other guy in a way that would be pleasing to God. Many times he has taken ridicule from students who don't understand the love of the one who created them. And James knows first hand that God will not give up on them.

At graduation, James received the Pieter McVey Award, a financial award that goes to "a deserving male and a deserving female."

In my estimation, there is no one more deserving than a teenager in trouble who DARES to turn his life around to make it count for what God has created it for.

James has certainly done that. He has been accepted at Ozark Christian College in Joplin, Missouri, and as he always said, if God wants me to go, He will provide me a way.

And of course, James is right. It seems the Christian Church which he attends and where he was baptized, has been inspired to help send James to this Christian College.

As we each walk down life's road, can we walk so bravely? Can we put our faith in what we say we believe in? Can the compassion of Christ ever reach our hardened hearts?

James has taught me it can. He taught me that there are no hurts we could have that compare to the suffering of Christ, yet he still forgives us and loves us where we are.

James has shown me that a graduation day for all of us might be appropriate. A celebration of an end of an era of blaming others for our misbehavior, and the beginning of an era of taking responsibility, of keeping promises, and of serving others. We each should dwell on whatever is good in others, he said, and by nurturing whatever is lovely that lies within and serving our fellow man, we can graduate to a new level as a productive creation of God's.

When James came upstairs from the basement storeroom with a sack of clothes I had confiscated from his room three years ago and was keeping for his graduation day, James looked up at me and smiled - "They aren't my style anymore."

Yes, he has graduated! And all I can say in my teary-eyed-way is..... I'm very proud of you James! Thank you for the lessons you have taught me.

God bless you at O.C.C.