Troubled
Kids :Troubled Schools
Troubled
Kids :Troubled Schools
by Dessa Rodeffer
Quill Editor/Publisher
28 April 1999
I've seen it before, adults in charge of caring for their family, but instead, are too involved in work, recreation, or life's daily events around themselves to take time for their family's needs.
Sure, they know the easy step it takes to bring a child into this world, but after that, they are clueless. They leave the child to fend on its own.
Where the child is learning is from television, from the streets, from the movies, and from watching their parents interact, or in many cases, failing to interact in family life at all.
Parents are needed for more than bringing in the bread and butter. Nutritional food will help them grow physically, but mentally kids are born to fail without parents continual emotional support and their helping hands.
When children do not get attention in a constructive way, but have parents with an attitude of, "He'll get over it" or "I'll check about her later," (which usually means they won't at all), children feel abandoned and worthless.
In the majority of parents, their offsprings are their pride and joy. But what happens to a child in a disfunctional family where the mother or father doesn't nurture it.
I remember when my first child, Tami, was born, I was trimming her fingernails with little scissors and accidently cut the end of her finger. I cried as if I had cut my own finger. It couldn't have hurt me any worst than if it had been my finger I had cut.
That is what caring parents feel, empathy for their children. They feel hurt everytime a child must face a tough situation, and it is why many of our forefathers served in the ugliness of war, to protect the family they love. It wasn't because they enjoyed shooting up other people. They anguished at the thought of it.
The two boys who shot 14 students, 1 teacher, and then shot themselves at Littleton, Colorado were obviously two of many troubled kids who live across America.
In listening to a Cedar Rapids radio station on the day after the massive shootings, a Cedar Rapids Superintendent of Schools who had come from Columbine High School as its Superintendent, talked about the good environment, staff, and students at the Jefferson County school.
It is not a high crime area, he said, but an upscale community. They have the DARE program and have good relations with the Sheriff's department.
He knew the sheriff, a fine man who was county commissioner when he was in Jefferson County.
"It is one of the last high schools you would think this would happen in," he said. "If it happened there, it could happen here!"
The superintendent felt it was fine that President Clinton wanted to bring a hundred thousand police officers into our schools, but what is needed is a hundred thousand school psychologists in our elementary and middle schools. By junior high and high school, problems are too deeply rooted.
He also feels parents have a responsibility to detect early signs of behavior problems and seek help for their children and for themselves in dealing with the problems.
He told a story about a couple of guys who went fishing. They saw babies floating down the stream, drowning. The two men began pulling out babies, one after another, in an attempt to save them.
Finally, after some time, the one man began to walk away.
"Where are you going?," the other shouted. "I need your help here in saving these babies."
"I know," the other fellow replied, "but I'm going up stream to see who's throwing them in."
The Superintendent's point: "It's time we go upstream and see who's throwing in babies."
Three things that most affect our children are in trouble:
#1- Families. Homes are not safe places anymore. Kids are left alone and feel rejected. And there is family violence from parents beating on kids, and from kids abusing their parents.
#2- Churches. There are less and less influence on our children from a spiritual standpoint. When kids have problems, they have nothing to fall back on without a spiritual upbringing. I can't stress enough the importance of families getting back into the churches, he said. "It's too bad the church isn't a major impact on our families."
#3- Schools. There are more and more kids arriving in our schools that do not know how to cope. Every teacher must spend some time in helping children, but there are too many problems, and too many children to meet all their needs in a classroom environment. Counseling is needed.
The Cedar Rapids Superintendent said he meets with high school students everyday. They are the victims. It could have happened here, he said, as he broke into tears.
We must listen to his plea, and the plea of parents, teachers and especially the children who need help. We must talk to our legislators to influence laws that bring paid certified child psychologists to our elementary and middle schools.
Schools are strapped financially in meeting the educational needs of our kids, but for the health of our nation and our kids, we must influence federal funding for this as well as funding for affordable quality day care for working parents who need a nurturing safe place for their kids.
Our churches, must be involved, too. They can offer support groups, day care, food pantries, and especially a youth program that welcomes all kids.
If a church cannot support one on their own, small churches must join together to offer these things by sharing the cost and the responsibilities.
By hiring a youth leader together, just maybe the emotions and stress that our kids face inside their families and schools can be addressed.
Coping skills can be given, and special needs can be addressed in severe cases before a crises happens.
As the pastor said at the funeral of the beloved teacher Coach Sanders, if we had only heeded the warning: "Remember the Alamo," maybe Pea rl Harbor would not have happen.
We must heed the warning of Littleton. Let us "Remember Columbine," and prepare a defense that will protect all of our children.