When Life Gives Us A Hard Blow

by Dessa Rodeffer
Quill Editor/Publisher

4 March 1999

I am smiling in this picture but my heart has broken and is full of sadness.

This weekend Rosemary Lutz, a beautiful woman, a friend of mine and of many others, died unexpectedly at the age of 48 of a heart attack.

This era of modern sophistication, of space ships to the moon, Internet technology and medical knowledge that would shock our ancestors, can not stop the worst from happening.

Sometime along life's road we have to face the deep pain of a loved one's death. And many times it is far sooner than we would ever expect.

Rich and Rosemary have raised three exceptional boys 19, 16, and 13.

At family night, the words I heard Rich give over and over again to the many teenagers and friends of theirs was, "Go home. Give your mom a hug. Tell her you love her."

Rich said that life is not worth bickering over the little things, as we sometimes do. "I'm sure my boys would love having her back telling them what they should do."

Rosemary grew up in my Presbyterian Church in Stronghurst where she remained an active member.

She was a cute bubbly type individual we all loved having around and she was a worker, an organizer, and a talented schoolteacher. But most of all what we loved about Rosemary was she was all heart.

She had a sympathizing tear for any of us in the church and she was the same in her family and in the Biggsville community.

If there was a worthy cause, you could be sure Rosemary had a part in it.

And she loved to sing. She sang in our choir in church which Mrs. Lucille Fort lead and in many community and church choirs and trios as well. Not only were her boys her pride and joy but she loved dearly her three sisters and all her extended family.

How do we deal with life when a loved one is taken so abruptly?

First, I think it brings out all the feelings we have stuffed away due to our jobs or our overwhelming responsibilities.

For awhile, we are in disbelief that this is actually happening. But when everyone goes home, and we begin our "new" life without the one we depended on or loved so much, we ache deep inside. We grieve, we cry, we anguish, but we move on.

I don't think the ache truly ever goes away. My father died graduation night over twenty-five years ago, and I still remember. I still miss him terribly, and I always carry his memory, his advice, and his love in my heart.

What helps get us through the pain and into productive lives again are you, the community, the church, the neighbors and friends.

You are the source of our comfort, but only God can be the source of our healing.

One of my favorite writings is "Footprints," where God is walking beside us and there are two footprints in the sand, but during a tragedy, there were only one set of footprints.

The man asked why God had left him. God's reply: "When there was only one set of footprints, that was when I was carrying you."

I truly believe that God is a merciful and all knowing God. I believe He never leaves us, but will be there to direct our paths, to light our way, and to carry us when we feel we can not go another step.

I believe there is much rejoicing and singing at heaven's gates as Rosemary is welcomed by her mother, father, brother, and Christian family.

I believe Rosemary triumphed over trials because the Lord had carried her many times.

I believe she carried laughter and a heart of gold because the Lord had given her an extra dose of it to brighten our lives.

When life takes our inspiration, our friend, our parent, or our loved one away, I believe there is only one thing to do: focus on the source of that inspiration: to focus on God. He gives us all that is good.

We must stop sweating the small stuff. Stop worrying about tomorrow and live for today, for that may be all we have.

Live each day to its fullest. Give thanks to God for the gifts we possess, and use them for His purpose. At a time like this, drop-ins are always welcome and encouraged.

Finally, we must lean on our family and friends for we all need each other, and we all need the Lord. It's within God's circle of friends, we will be healed.