The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.

Older Is Better? It's Debatable

Dessa Rodeffer, Quill Publisher-Owner

 14 April 2004

One thing about getting old, you can look back on many wonderful memories from years of good living.

You can see wisdom gained from mistakes, you can recall beauty in places you've traveled and you can list many wonderful friends you've met along the way.

In these many experiences we have accumulated enough lessons from life to write an entertaining novel.

Although we have gained knowledge, I have found there is a flip side to a long adventuresome life.

Shirley Linder, my Editor, received a letter that described the problem to a T.

She doesn't know who wrote it, but the "mature" thinking women in our office feel the letter is right on track. See what you think.

IMPORTANT READING FOR SENIORS

-Ladies Only-

Doubt that you all will understand this, but I thought you should be warned.... She's at my house. But be on guard! Even though this lady is residing in MY house, she may at some time appear in yours. Be alert!

A very weird thing has happened. A strange old lady has moved into my house. I have no idea who she is, where she came from, or how she got in. I certainly did not invite her.

All I know is that one day she wasn't there, and the next day she was!

She is a clever old lady and manages to keep out of sight for the most part, but whenever I pass a mirror, I catch a glimpse of her. And, whenever I look in the mirror to check my appearance, there she is hogging the whole thing, completely obliterating my gorgeous face and body.

This is very rude! I have tried screaming at her, but she just screams back. The least she could do is offer to pay part of the rent, but no!

Every once in a while, I find a dollar bill stuck in a coat pocket, or some loose change under a sofa cushion, but it is not nearly enough.

I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I think she is stealing money from me. I go to the ATM and withdraw $100, and a few days later, it's all gone! I certainly don't spend money THAT fast, so I can only conclude the old lady is pilfering from me.

You'd think she would spend some of that money to buy wrinkle cream.

And money isn't the only thing I think she is stealing.

Food seems to disappear at an alarming rate-especially the good stuff like ice cream, cookies, and candy. She must have a real sweet tooth, but she'd better watch it, because she is really packing on the pounds.

I suspect she realizes this, and to make herself feel better, she is tampering with my scale to make me think I am putting on weight too.

For an old lady, she is quite childish. She likes to play nasty games, like going into my closets when I'm not home and altering my clothes so they don't fit.

And she messes with my files and papers so I can't find anything. This is particularly annoying since I am extremely neat and organized.

She has found other imaginative ways to annoy me. She gets into my mail, newspapers, and magazines before I do and blurs the print so I can't read it. And she has done something really sinister to the volume controls on my TV, radio, and telephone. Now, all I hear are mumbles and whispers.

She has done other things-like make my stairs steeper, my vacuum heavier and all the knob and faucets harder to turn. She even made my bed higher so that getting into and out of it is a real challenge.

Lately, she has been fooling with my groceries before I put them away, applying glue to the lids, making it almost impossible for me to open the jars.

She has taken the fun out of shopping for clothes. When I try something on, she stands in front of the dressing room mirror and monopolizes it. She looks totally ridiculous in some of those outfits, plus, she keeps me from seeing how great they look on me!

Just when I thought she couldn't get any meaner, she proved me wrong.

She came along when I went to get my picture taken for my driver's license, and just as the camera shutter clicked, she jumped in front of me!

I hope she never finds out where YOU live, That's For Sure!

AUTHOR
Rose Madeline Mula

Rose Mula was an executive assistant, a public relations specialist, and an operations manager for a New England theater chain before discovering a passion for writing. She has written business and trade articles to earn a living, and humor for the fun of it.

Her work has appeared in The Saturday Evening Post, Yankee, Modern Maturity,  The Christian Science Monitor, The Reader's Digest, The Philadelphia Inquirer, The Baltimore Sun, and more than six dozen other magazines and newspapers. Actually-thousands of newspapers, since one of her essays, The Stranger in My Mirror (originally titled, The Stranger in My House), was reprinted in Ann Landers' nationally syndicated column in 1999, without Rose's byline. Ms. Landers explained that she had received it from her cousin in Phoenix and wanted to share it with her readers even though she didn't know the author. When Rose left a phone message for her, Landers returned the call personally, with gracious compliments and apologies, and she promptly printed an attribution.

Meanwhile, Rose did some sleuthing and found her Stranger running rampant (and nameless) on dozens of websites, all but one of which claimed no prior knowledge of the author but were happy to hear from her and add her name. The exception was the owner of a site who claimed she had had the story for over twenty years. Not true, Rose pointed out, because in the essay she mentioned VCRs, which were very rare back then, and ATMs, which didn't exist for years later.

Rose never was able to identify the original kidnapper who stole her Stranger away. A couple of years before, her hometown newspaper, The Andover Townsman, published it. She assumes that a reader scanned it, without her byline, and started the whole distribution chain by emailing it to a friend who decided to share it with other cyber pals. And the saga continues to this day, the Stranger is still popping up in e-mails across the nation. Rose wishes she herself can achieve the same immortality. Meanwhile, she can reached by e-mail.

Rose's new book, The Stranger in My Mirror and Other Reflections is available by special order from most book stores, or on the web at www.amazon.com and www.barnesandnoble.com