The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.

Dad Is Much More Than A Financial Comforter

by Dessa Rodeffer, Quill Publisher

11 June 2003

The financial security that fathers bring to their families is a comfort.

Knowing there is a roof over their head, food on the table, medical and education needs met is a big part of caring for a family, but dad's pocket book is only half of the story.

Emotional support, and educational and inspirational teachings are also a very important part of children's growth and success in society.

This week on TV, I just happened onto the story of country singer Garth Brooks, whose records, they said, had out-sold all previous musicians.

Garth told of his closeness to his father and how important that had been in his life.

He said his dad had a strong work ethic, but no matter how tired he was when he came home each night it was just minutes and he was outside in the yard playing with him.

The support he had gotten from his mother and dad he credited for his success. His mother, also a country singer, told him if he saw it happening "upstairs" and he had the strong desire in his heart, it would happen. With his parent's encouragement he went after his dream.

But then, in the middle of his success, he announced his retirement to be home with his children.

He said he loved his music, but he loved his children even more and it just feels right. He felt it was important to be to them what his dad was to him.

He is going to soccer games and encouraging them in their lives and loving being there for his kids.

That's a man that truly wears the name "Dad" well. And he understands the strong emotional needs that children have.

There are dads that never show up to be a father to their children. There are the dads who just bring in the dough and then keep busy in their own world ignoring the fact that children also need nurturing from them.

There are those who sit in front of the TV or the paper but never ask their children about their day.

But, then there are those fathers at the park, at the ballpark, out fishing or hunting with their sons, or in the garage teaching them carpentry, mechanics, or caring for the yard together, riding horses, golfing, 4-H, politics, swimming, farming, drawing, music, helping with the housework, cooking, washing the car and a dozen other things.

Whatever interest they have - they share it with their son or daughter.

My granddaughter took me to "Daddy Day Care" with Eddie Murphy Thursday. Murphy was a dad who lost his marketing job and was having trouble finding another job. As a result, he stayed home with their son while his lawyer wife went to work. While sitting at the park with some other parents watching their children, he decided to go into business for himself. A woman said someone could make a killing if they would start a decent Day Care.

So, that is what he did. Of course, he and his partner found out it was not an easy job, and for a while it looked like the kids were ruling, but eventually the time he put in with the kids paid off.

And it wasn't the financial payoff that got to him the most. It was the changes that were made in the kids because someone actually paid attention and cared about them.

One boy, who was always dressed in a costume and was a terror, actually gave up the costume one day because he started liking who he really was and said he didn't want to be that other character any more. Kids that had learned rudeness at home started to become polite, and his own son started making friends while becoming happier and closer to his father.

Fathers, you are much more important than the dollars in your pocket. You bring a warmth and an encouragement to children that makes them feel like a million bucks.

It is great when dad is a financial comforter, but it is even better when he comforts the family with quality time on a regular basis.

The time you spend together will be written in your children's book of life and passed on to their children. They may not be a Garth Brook where TV is asking them about their relationship with their dad, but yet again, who knows.

It is great when kids can say their dad always made them feel they were important to them.

Dads, thank you for your financial support, but thank you even more for your words of comfort and your encouragement. The times you play catch or work together on projects, or just sit down and listen makes your child feel special.

And it is your hugs, pats on the back, and your hand on the shoulder that makes Dad special to them, and to the world. Thanks dad!