The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.

The Big Move is a Cruise

by Dessa Rodeffer
Quill Editor/Publisher

13 June 2001

Well, I had been dreading the day I would have to finally make the big move.

The tough decision came before Mother's Day, ironic enough, not at all what I would like to be doing on this very special occasion.

But, some very good people, my pastor included, helped me through the thought process of how to best meet the needs of my mother who was needing more specialized attention.

The decision was one of the hardest I have ever had to make, yet looking back, I see what a wonderful thing I have done for my mom.

I was sitting at home, not wanting to let go of her, needing to have her close, loving the fact she was in my home, believing it was best for her.

In reality, many times I had to rush her around for my appointments or take her as I finished up some work at night at The Quill. Or I had to run to the store and her 24-hour-care meant she had to be with someone, even if it was a traveling daughter.

After a miserable heart breaking week, several concerned people helped me realized there was a better alternative for mother's care- a nursing home.

I promised myself, never! Only as a last resort, broken hip, something like that. After all, it would be so confining, she'd be a shut-in, away from people who loved her. She would be scared. It wouldn't be nearly as lively. She would miss us.

I was made to see that the truth is, our home can be pretty lonely. The kids are grown, Michael and I are busy with our responsibilities. Our meals are quick. Many times, mother is sitting in a chair by herself humming with no activity for her.

There was times she would wait for me in the car while I ran into a store or the office or to take a picture. A car is not a safe place to leave a frail mother. My mother needed activities as much as I, my children or grandchildren do.

I made the phone call to Oaklane Nursing and Rehab which is only a couple of blocks north of my home and they were wonderful.

"That is why we are here, to help," head nurse Karen Jacob told me. "You don't have to do this alone. Come and visit with our social director Mary Lillard."

After reading a book, Mary had given me, I realized the question that needed answered was, "How can I best meet my mother's needs?"

It is sick, to think she has to break a hip before I will get her quality care.

It was the Saturday before Mother's Day, when mom and I carried in her clothes and some of her favorite things to Oaklane. Two nurses came and made mom, "Queen for the Day." Within the hour, she was taken off to play Bingo.

When I went out to their beautiful dining room, nine or ten residents were seated around a long table enjoying the game and winning munchies if they had a Bingo. Mother was loving it.

She plays ring toss, goes on nature walks, takes van trips each Wednesday, enjoys a movie and popcorn, Bible study, church, sing-a-longs, and the company of many people all day long.

My goodness, I told Carole Dillon, my mother is on a Cruise Boat. She is having more fun than she ever had at home. Carole said, you just keeping thinking that thought. This is a Cruise Ship, and I am the social director.

I think the Oaklane Cruise Boat has a much better sound.