The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.

My Husband Is Leaving Me -- Again!

by Dessa Rodeffer
Quill Editor/Publisher

11 October 2000

All right all you guys with great imaginations.... it's true. My husband is leaving me again.

It happens every fall when he leaves the house earlier and earlier and then returns home quite late.

I am told, by those who are experienced in the field of farm men, that for the first part of the fall Michael probably spends his time with rows and rows of tall thin blond looking creatures, most of which are quite stalky.

It sounds corny to me, but what do I know about men and their cycles. I know this strange behavior hits men in our farming community twice a year, in the spring and in the fall.

It does look suspicious, but I try to hold my chin up for I know soon it will pass.

It is really hard not to ask questions when I find a dusty trail through the house and then I find unusual objects in his pockets, like beans and corn.

Do you suppose he has been leaving a trail to help him self to find his way back home, kind of like Hansel and Gretel?

I was told by one lady in La Harpe that she had spotted several truckers waiting in line at various places, usually elevators, but she didn't tell me further about what the attraction is there.

This damsel in distress knows that if a good meal is kept on the stove, he seems to keep coming home, so he's obviously not being enticed with good cooking elsewhere. I was always told that was the way to a man's heart.

One thing for sure, the fun seems to be wearing off.

Shucks! This fall affair seems to be wearing him down much more than the spring affair he had earlier.

This may not be true, but I heard whatever the attraction is in the field, they didn't look so good this year, something about being wind blown. Of course, I could be getting things a little mixed up but I assume they were talking about the stalky blonds.

For the life of me, I can't figure out why he leaves when it just causes him restless nights and hardly enough energy to stay awake through the news.

All I have heard (and this may not be true) is this way of life becomes habit-forming :with farmers.

Soon, maybe, when Jack Frost gives the farmer and the stalky blonds the cold shoulder, farmers will break the habit of leaving their wives and Michael will be home again, for the winter : patiently waiting : waiting for the spring :