The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.



The Wisdom Of Barnyard Bruke: "YOUR FIRST CHRISTMAS CARD, ON THE LIGHTER SIDE: HOW YA CAN TELL YA'R GET'N OLD"

Greetings to ever one in western Illinois and to all readers of The Quill. It has turned off a bit snowy and cooler from last week. All in all December shore has been a good start.

Fess McGee shared with us fellers a poem and sez to us "Let this be your first Christmas card of the season".

It was enterest'n enough. I reckon it could be shared with the Quill readers...

FIRST CHRISTMAS CARD

Twas the night before...

(What's that called again?)

*Twas the month before Christmas*

*When all through our land,*

*Not a Christian was praying*

*Nor taking a stand.*

*See the PC Police had taken away,*

*The reason for Christmas - no one could say.*

*The children were told by their schools not to sing,*

*About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.*

"It might hurt people's feelings," the teachers would say."

December 25th is just a "Holiday"

*Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit*

*Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!*

*CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod*

*Something was changing, something quite odd! *

*Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa*

*In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.*

*As Targets were hanging their trees upside down*

* At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.*

*At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears*

*You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.*

*Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty*

*Are words that were used to intimidate me.*

*Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen*

*On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton !*

*At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter*

*To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.*

*And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith*

; * Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace*

*The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded*

*The reason for the season, stopped before it started.*

*So as you celebrate "Winter Break' under your "Dream Tree'*

*Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.*

*Choose your words carefully, choose what you say*

*Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS , and NOT Happy Holiday!*

Please, all Christians, join together-and wish.

Everyone you meet a "MERRY CHRISTMAS"!

**Christ is the reason for the Christmas season!**

Well, that thar card certainly spurred some enterest'n conversation amongst the boys. As fer meself, I'm a gonna dwell on them words fer a spell ta make sure they is properly disgested.

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE

Sandy Bob asked Buster Jigs, "how kin ya tell when ya know when ya is grow'n older"?

HOW YA CAN TELL YA'R GET-N OLD

How Ta Know When Ya Is Grow'n Older

Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.

The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hit'n your bifocals.

Ya feel like the morn'n after and ya haven't been anywheres.

Ya get winded play'n chess.

Ya children begin ta look middle-aged.

Ya join a health club and ya don't go.

Ya mind makes contracts your body cain't meet.

Ya finally reach the top of the ladder only to find it's lean'n on the wrong wall.

Ya begin to outlive enthusiasm.

Ya look forward to a dull evening.

Ya know the answers, but nobody is ask'n ya the questions.

Ya favorite part of the paper is "50 Years Ago Today!"

Ya turn out the lights for economic reasons rather than romantic reasons.

Ya sit in the rock'n chair and cain't get it go'n....

Your knees buckle, but your belt won't.

Ya regret all those mistakes ya made resisting temptation.

Ya're 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, and 96 on the golf course.

Ya stop look'n forward to ya next birthday.

The little old gray-haired lady ya help across the street is your wife.

Ya sink ya teeth into a steak, and they stay there.

Ya have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.

Dialing long-distance wears ya out.

Ya back goes out more than you do.

A fortune teller offers to read your face.

Ya remembers today, that yesterday was ya wedding anniversary.

Ya are startled the first time ya are addressed as an "Old Timer."

Ya burn the midnight oil after 9 p.m.

Ya pacemaker makes the garage door go up when ya sees a pretty girl walk by.

Ya broad mind and narrow waist have exchanged places

Ya gets your exercise act'n as a pallbearer fer ya friends who exercised.

The best part of ya day ends when the alarm goes off.

Thar ya has it then, a sure fire way of tell'n if'n ya is age'n, accord'n to Buster Jigs.

I is a runn'n outa ink so it would be timely to bring this to a close.

Where ever ya is, what ever ya be a do'n, BE A GOOD ONE!

See ya in church come'n up.

Keep on Smile'n

Catch ya later

BARNYARD BRUKE